complete overkill makes it America.

I love the fall; except for the going back to school part. Even though I don’t go to school anymore, I’m scarred from years of going to that place. Every end of August I get some turbo anxiety realizing freedom is a lie, and the goverment is corrupt. Then you start seeing tv commercials- the ones with the parents smiling and laughing, telling you to go buy some new school supplies. Altho that is the best part. Being like, fuck you school and the man; if you’re making me go back to prison, aka “educational system” called school, I’m sure as hell going to drop some major coin on book socks and other rad educational paraphernalia. DAMN RIGHT I NEED THAT

Texas Instruments® TI-84 Plus Graphing Calculator.

Silver edition ONLY. I mean, url 
But the greatest thing about the fall is everything becomes pumpkin flavor. We used to keep it classy and fun. There was pumpkin pie, and then a pumpkin spice latte. And that was it. But at some point around 2010 the corporate ad guys got wise and started making everything pumpkin. I don’t mind bc pumpkin is the mack daddy of all flavors, ask anyone.. 
I mean it’s not america if we don’t completely overdo something to the point of complete destruction/ borderline disgust. I do feel the need to try anything pumpkin that I could ever come by. Im just waiting for that pumpkin spice gum. YO @JUICYJUICE ya hear? 
You can only imagine my supreme elation when Stumptown in the arts district had a pumpkin cheese danish. Realize fully this isn’t the kind of danish you would just  see in a case at au bon pain, these are architecturally sound pastries #nextlevel.
You do remember the total meltdown one of their scones caused me, right? It was easily one of the single best pastries I’ve ever had. I wasn’t ready- I thought I was just ordering a scone. This danish was so light, and crisp, and buttery. It just couldn’t be any more perfect. The bottom was almost caramelized and the pumpkin was JUST the right amount of sweet. SO HARD TO GET RIGHT. Too sweet and it’s just overbearing. Not sweet enough and it tastes like a squash.
No one wants squash pastries bruh. No one. 
The pastry provider, sugarbloom at this stumptown is easily one of my favorites- and this pumpkin danish is a must try.
Stumptown Arts District 
806 S Santa Fe Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90021

knockoff celines on layaway

Brentwood is a LUX place. It’s hard to find a parking space for a non electric vehicle, am i right or am i rigghhht??
So I was aimlessly loitering at the brentwood country mart one afternoon and stumbled upon a pretty cafe with pretty people. You know the kind of place- you walk up, and everyone is sitting outside looking at you, looking at them, looking at each other.. This is step uno to finding a good cafe in LA. COOL people go to COOL places. You want to be cool right?
So I go in- Caffe Luxe. Double the f’s and double the x’s, means double the no fucks for grammar, and grammar is lame. This is shaping up to be a major discovery. I notice 2 girls in yoga clothes with celine bags and cartier love bracelets. Suddenly I’m super self conscious and realizing I’m not even wearing workout clothes, nor can I afford a celine bag, and KANYE wears Cartier love bracelets. Fam, I’m in so much college debt, I could maybe get a celine knockoff on eBay if they started to offer some sort of layaway program. Not only that, but these young lassies may be about to ENTER high school. I order an iced triple shot cappuccino, (aka going turbo, aka my comfort zone) and this banana looking loaf. I still don’t know exactly what the banana loaf was, but if you ever see this it, it’s a must cop. So moist and the flavor profiles were perfect. Just enough banana, and just enough of that loaf flavor. This was also one of the best iced cappuccinos I’ve had to date. It was incredibly smooth and almost sweet. Caffe Luxxe is dope. 

11975 San Vicente Boulevard, Los Angeles CA 90049

Everyday 7am to 5pm

225 26th Street, Santa Monica CA 90402

Everyday 7am to 6pm

925 Montana Avenue, Santa Monica CA 90403

Mon – Fri 6am to 6pm
Sat – Sun 6:30am to 6pm

zero fucks about the amenities 
Downtown la is up and coming. It’s like one of those apartment buildings that has a million phases. You can move in to phase one now- but a solid 80% of your building won’t be ready until 2022. Zero pool access for you. I happen to have all this building knowledge bc of this rad building I visited yesterday. They couldn’t show me much of anything since phase one just opened, and they couldn’t tell me much since they haven’t even SEEN the pool deck, fitness center, courtyard, business center, or lounge. But they COULD get me a sweet deal if I moved in the next day. Shouts to the leasing manager for the hookup on the low. 
Anyway, dtla has a long ways to go- though there are pockets of perfection. The flower district in dt is clearly everything. It’s a few blocks of just flower shops. This is crucial for ya boy, bc constantly apologizing to the ladies in your life is serious $$$ paper $$$. So anyway, the point of this article is this amazing little cafe called Poppy + Rose that opened up in the middle of all these flower spots. It’s so tucked away, you really have to be looking for this place. I LOVE THAT. It’s a simple cafe, almost like a well done old school luncheonette. Minimal menu, and super simple dishes, all done well. Nothing is going to surprise you here; and thats a good thing. What you order, is what you get, and you’ll never be disappointed. Expertly prepared simple dishes. Sign me up.
765 Wall St, Los Angeles, CA 90014
mon-sat 6am-3pm
sun- closed
213 995 7799
 

preorder everything

Papa johns, Little Cesar’s, Dominoes, evolution, humanity, Big Bang, theory, and now 800 degrees. Kids- we’ve arrived at a new stage in this thing called life. The quality and expectations for things has gone up. You can’t just open up any super basic thing and think you’re going to have lines like universal studios. Which by the way- ALWAYS get yor tickets beforehand. I was in line for a solid hour and a half- to get INTO THE PARK. When all you wanna do is get on some sweet rides- an hour and a half in dat valley heat is a real situation you don’t want to be in. Lesson, preorder everything you can preorder. 

800 degrees has everything DOWN. I mean, they somehow stroll into the pizza game- a game i thought I’ve seen done all possible ways, and change the game. it’s a chipotle style system. You walk in, order your crust, then add toppings. it takes 60 seconds for your pizza to go from nothing to done. 60 SECONDS. I can’t think of anything I can do in sixty seconds and 800 degrees is over here making pizzas. We’re definitely in the future. 800 degreess is the classiest of all pizza venues to boot. They have chandeliers and everything is marble. Its a classy spot. But the steals of all steals is the daily special. This changed my daily food activity hard. 800 degrees is a well priced spot. It’s not going to break your bank even if the majority of your bank is already spent on sneakers or empty like ya boys. The daily special is always different, and they announce it on Instagram. Award for best Instagram use goes to….
And, oh yea, the special is HALF OFF. I don’t know how to do math, but that comes to 4$ and some change. Yes this is really the deal and yes it’s at any time in the day or night. Thank god no one reads this blog otherwise this would cause a major issue for me. Another pro tip is to ask for the parmesan and the chili sauce. The sauce is PERFECT.Every day I wish they would sell it so I could stop asking for way too many then taking them home with me. I went for dinner the other night- 2 pizza specials, a salad, and a beer- FIFTEEN DOLLARS 🙏🙏✔️. 
There’s really nothing else I should have to say, except I am now turbo in the mood for pizza and its 10:30pm in la which may as well be 5am in Toronto. 
800 degrees
find a location here

faking out the actors

Coffee commissary is really a quality spot. I’ve written about their siren studios location, but to me this is the hq. i base this off of nothing other than the fact that this is the first coffee shop i can remember going to in la.  yea I’m as solid a source as wikipedia. sup? 
This location is on fairfax near all the swag street wear spots like supreme. for some reason the vicinity any place lies in contrast to supreme is incredibly relevant to me. my inability to remember belts could very well be a part of this.
i can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve forgotten my belt and had to go buy one from supreme. bc yea, I’m not hitting up the local old navy for some nylon belt looped shit. Premium leather ONLY. supreme or my pants will just not fit that day. 
ya’ll know tha kid loves the iced cappuccino’s. Commissary’s are def on my unofficial top 5 list. The vibe is uber actory. there must be a kajillion ‘actors’ and ‘screenwriters’ in here. the worst part of commissary is faking out the actors into thinking you are not an actor. YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE ONE OF THEM. They might try and talk to you or worse- try and make friends with you. Fake and shake guys. 
Coffee Commissary 
Find Locations here
I’m not a big cookie fan. I’ve said this before. Like, I don’t freak out for cookies as much as I freak out for something like a gyro. Completely different, but a gyro good or not, makes me feel some type of way a cookie just doesn’t. So I was at this boutique on melrose place, and they were celebrating something. I went in bc I wanted some free stuff. I had some champagne and tea sandwiches. It was 1pm on a Wednesday. Before I left- I grabbed one of these cookies wrapped in this clear plastic; bc, you know we all have that 80 year old lady inside of us somewhere. I got somewhere around 100 ft down the block and ate the cookie anyway. YO KIDZ this was one of the best cookies I’ve had of all time. GRAB THE MIKE FROM TAYLOR SWIFT GOOD. Gimme that. Naturally I needed to find the source of these cookies . I google an address. I get there and its a gallery. I’m confused. Finally I find this staircase that goes up to the back of an empty office space. This is the back of a building mind you, super sus- like I don’t know if I’m supposed to be here status. Already love it. It smells like cookies tho which is good. This is a wholesale cookie situation. They’re mass producing for all over the us at this place. These cookies are a hot item. Def not the dainty cookie shop i was imagining I was going to. I get into a conversation with one of the bakers. We talk about new york, life, cookies. He gives me a brownie that was unlike any brownie I’ve ever had. This is what the promise land must be like. I made it. Main downside was that there is no coffee here. Luckily there is this abandoned gas station next door that is apparently being turned into a drive thru starbucks. I mean, this is going to cause the most major of traffic jamz ever, but there are few things I like more than a drive  through starbucks. YOU DONT EVEN HAVE TO GET OUT THE CAR. Nothing makes me feel flossier than being handed a coffee directly into my car. #THUGLIFE or maybe #bougielife ? It’s all about deluscious. 
Deluscious Cookies & Milk
829 N Highland Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90038

City of Flies

Coffee Commissary is becoming one of my favorite coffee shop pseudo chains. It’s not a full blown chain like the SBUX, but it has more than 2 locations. At what point do you qualify as a chain anyway? Cant find anything on wikipedia about these qualifications. I’m going to say 3 or more = chain. Fair? 

Commisarys location at Siren Studios is great. its kind of hidden away, not the sort of spot people that aren’t working on site will be in. This means < crowded. The iced cappuccinos here are just perfection. Easily one of my favorites in the city of flies. I call LA the city of flies bc there is a major fly problem here and people need to know bout it bout it. I don’t remember seeing ANY flies in nyc, but for real, you can be in the chicest restaurant in the city and flies will be OUTCHEA. Luckily there aren’t really any flies at Siren Studios.
Huge bonus is the fact that free range la tends to park it right outside for lunch. uh, #winning much?
Coffee Commissary
6087 Sunset Blvd

Tags: coffee flies

food trends that transcend the trend

So I’m on abbot kinney- easily the coolest place to stroll down the street rocking a fresh alphet sipping that intelligentsia. I’m feeling good, damn good. Then I see this place called chop daddy’s, essentially an all bbq sandwich spot. Now I’m feeling great. Chop Daddy’s has a very lunch counter feel. There’s nowhere to sit, just a simple bench like table. I order at the counter- a very rare no struggle “I know what I want” moment- their signature sammy with smoked bbq pork belly, homemade coleslaw, on a brioche roll. I MEAN..
Pork belly has been having this cupcake type popularity on the food scene. Am I over cupcakes? Yea. Am I over pork belly? NA. NEVER. 
Do I occasionally indulge in a cupcake, sometimes. When I’m at those events and they’re passing em out, I have to let everyone know how disappointed I am with a forced groan before I regretfully eat 2-3 cakes. Like, doesn’t the party planner know cupcakes are #basic now??
My order quickly comes out. This dish comes down to one thing. The quality of the pork belly. That’s it. 
So I was wrong- the porkbelly was amazing, and the coleslaw and bbq sauce bring this dish to the next level. It’s harder than you think to find that perfect crispy/juicy porkbelly combo. Clearly the pitmaster at chop daddy knows whats good, bc this sandwich is no joke.
Chop Daddy’s 
1146 Abbot Kinney Blvd
(310) 450-1533

Delis you wouldn’t find in manhattan

Ever since I lived in Greenpoint- off the grim reaper of trains, the G, I began to heavily rely on the corner deli. Like pre-greenpoint gentrification of radness. Yea, the good days. I remember going to GOD BLESS DELI on the DAILY. Like, fam, I stopped in there religiously for some of their basic deli goodness. It always took forever, and you were never really stoked on what you got, but it’s a corner deli. 
There’s a serious lack of these venues in la. Not that anyone other than me is complaining about this issue. So you can imagine my shock when I’m crushing this hike on mulholland and I come across a deli on this mountainous region. YEA, A DELI IN THE MOUNTAIN. It’s called the Laurel Canyon Country Store. It felt like some middle earth discovery shit. One minute I’m hot and exhausted, next theres this deli mirage that turns out to not be a mirage. In fact, it’s quite the spot. There’s this incredible, I mean INCREDIBLE coffee stand outside the shop, that single handedly made me the best iced americano I’ve ever had. Was I ready? Na kid, NA. Organic honey to boot? This isn’t real life. I’ve got this coffee- I’m feeling good. I go inside and they have some quality stuff. A really curated type of deli situation. I decide to throw down for a sandwich as well. I’m in this magical place that I’m still not convinced isn’t a mirage, so I’m thinking i take advantage. You know how auntie anns pretzels are super artificial and awful, but they’re the best bc sometimes we all love that artificial fake flavor? I mean you could get one of those artisan pretzel joints, but it’s not the same as that modified ready made just bake stuff. This is that sandwich. It’s not a high quality deli. No ones mistaking this for whole foods- but what you get is a super authentic old thyme (peep that spelling) deli sammy. I recommend the number 3 no mustard, with thousand island aka russian- but you don’t need to listen to me, I’m just a food blogger.
Laurel Canyon Country Store
2108 Laurel Canyon Blvd
(323) 654-8091

Donation based potatoes 

I dig sweet potatoes. I mean, they’re like everything I love about reg potatoes but orange and have infinitely more health swag. restos in la have all types of sweet potoato options. I mean I can just about money back guarantee you any cafe you end up at will have sweet potatoes for you. Altho I can’t give you any money back bc I don’t have the budget for that and I do this shit for free- so you’re welcome for keeping you based on all sweet potatoe knowledge. You can go ahead and click that soon to appear donate button on the bottom of my page - much thanks in advance. 
I know this all turned on you fast, but hey, life comes at you like that. Like will smiths dad always said, if you stay ready, you never have to get ready. 
You can hit donate again for that life advice too. 
But really- the sweet potatoes at Coral Tree Cafe are next level. It’s really a simple dish. Roasted sweet potatoes, a variety of colors, and this chipotle sauce. The secret to this dish being in sed sauce. Spicy, sweet, creamy, light. It’s everything and nothing all at once. I know that haiku caliber  description may have flown right over your head, and thats ok. You’re going to be ok. Its all going to be ok.
Coral Tree Cafe
11645 San Vicente Blvd
(310) 979-8733